An Old-Time Shaving Kit With a Modern Twist

So one of my all-time favorite memories as a child was sitting on the vanity in our bathroom upstairs as my dad got ready for work in the morning.  

Being one of ten children, it wasn't very often that I'd get any one-on-one time with my dad.  I'd have to get up pretty early to get it.  My favorite part of his morning ritual was when he shaved.  He had this old porcelain mug that had years and years or residue from soap, and an old, horsehair shaving brush. 

He'd water down his brush then dip it into the mug and swirl and swirl the hairs of the brush until the mug was filled with suds from the soap.  If I was really good, he'd hand me the brush and let me dip it into the mug and lather his face up, painting the bubbles all over the stubble on his face until he look looked like he'd fallen into a pile of snow. 

When I was done being more than thorough with his soap, dad would rinse off the horsehair brush, tap it a couple times on the sink, then place it behind the vanity mirror for safe keeping and proceed to shave, followed by a few drops of Old Spice.  

To this day, the smell brings back fond memories. 

A few days ago, I was given the opportunity to test out a new, more modern version of the shaving kit.  I have a 15-year-old son who is now at that age where the perpetual peach fuzz is sprouting all over his face, so I thought this would be an excellent way to pass down the tradition of a shaving kit, rather than foam and a razor.  What's the fun in that?

When I got the package in the mail, I was impressed.  The stainless steel bowl was sturdy, designed to last a long time.  There was also a holder for the boar hair brush,which was pretty cool to look at because the bristles were several tones, so it looked like there was a stripe through the bristles. 

At first, I thought the bristles would be too coarse for shaving, but one it was wet, they softened and wasn't an issue at all.  

In all, the consensus was that the shaving kit was pretty cool, and really quite sturdy.  It's something that would make a great gift for the man in your life.  Father's Day is coming up...just sayin'.

Does Reading To Your Children Count As Exercise?

I recently downloaded a book off Amazon called: GREEN Bird: The Adventures Children Book illustrations.  I thought it would be a fun book for my kiddos, seeing as they are 4 1/2 and 6 years old.  

I've been looking for something that I can give them to read when I need them to sit quietly - i.e. in waiting rooms, in the car, or wherever. But I didn't want to be lugging a bunch of books around in a diaper bag either. Thus, the e-book method. 

My first mistake was to read the book after dinner - which means they had full tummies and a renewed sense of energy.  I sat my 4-year-old on my lap and flipped on my IPhone.  His face immediately lit up when he saw the bright green bird on the cover then he began to clap, which drew the attention of my 6 year-old.  

I began reading the book out loud to my children.  One was on my lap, and the other was standing next to me, leaning over the screen, making it hard for me to see.  This caused me to have to dodge my head around my 6-year-old daughter to read the screen while my 4-year-old son pointed to the pictures. 

The pictures were cute and completely engaging.  But every few pages, it was a white page with words, which caused my 4-year-old to zone off momentarily until another picture appeared.  This lull in his attention caused him to look elsewhere (i.e. at his big sister) for entertainment.  

Eventually, the book reading session turned into something akin to: 

ME: "'Excuse me, are you a bird?' The little green bird asked the little green thing."

JACOB Grunts and tries to tap the phone phone to turn the page.

COURTNEY: "JACOB! It's my turn!"  She slaps his hand.

ME: "Courtney, don't hit your brother." I bat her hand away and touch the screen myself.

JACOB Dives for the phone and I wrestle him away as Courtney manhandles it out of my grasp while my attention is focused on Jacob. 

COURTNEY: "Ooh, Mama! What do you think this is?  An Apple? A Pear?" She waves the phone in front of my face, but yanks it away when I try to grab it for a closer view. 

JACOB tries to make a move for the phone, but I grab him around the waist and pull him back on my lap. 

ME: "Courtney, give me the phone back so I can read it to everyone."

COURTNEY returns the phone and leans in, tapping the phone to turn the page to words.  

JACOB grunts and taps the phone too, causing it to turn back to the mystery picture. 

I tap it again, batting both hands away and reading the words. 

BOTH KIDS grin when it's revealed to be a mango!

JACOB lunges again to turn the page.

COURTNEY screams and lunges too. 

I wrestle the phone away, dodging little hands, and reading the dialogue while moving the phone every .3 seconds to avoid sticky fingers. 

More screaming (some from me).  

We turn the page. 

COURTNEY guesses, giggles, and squeals.

JACOB lunges, successfully turning the page again, and pointing to the newest animal discovery.
And then repeat....

Seriously, can I count that as my workout?  My arms are kind of tired.  It's gotta count for a few minutes anyway.

Needless to say, the book was a hit.  You might want to check it out.  If you dare...but I wouldn't recommend it for quite time.    :)

Fat Girls Don't Run Triathlons

OK, whose bright idea was it to sign me up for a triathlon?

Oh. That's right.  It was me.  I was the idiot who agreed to do one.  Brilliant.

In case you didn't get the memo (because I apparently didn't), 300 lb women don't run triathlons.  OK, to be fair, I'm sure there's probably SOMEONE out there who does.  But I don't.  I'm too FAT.

Lucky for me, it's only a Sprint distance triathlon.  Though that may be enough to kill me off.
My little sister, after seeing some of my blog posts, suggested I join her in this truly amazing (cough cough) endeavor and train so that we can both do the triathlon together in September.

Apparently, I was still on my walker's high and thought that, after walking an entire 18 minutes on the treadmill, I was invincible.  Maybe I should restrict my Internet time after my evening work-outs.  Apparently I'm a hazard to myself. But I digress...

5K run? No problem.  I can walk if I need to. 10 mile bike ride?  Sure. No problem.  1 mile swim?  Yeah, I'm gonna drown.  Mebbe I should dust off my floaties, or strap on a life jacket.  At least they'll find my body that way.

In all seriousness though, this triathlon scares the CRAP out of me. Why? Because I CAN'T run a triathlon at this weight.

But you know what?  I don't intend to.  I have 2 1/2 months to train like crazy and lose as much weight as possible so that I can participate.  The goal isn't to win. Not by any means.  It's merely to compete...and not die.  Yes, life after the triathlon would be good.

I can lose a lot of weight (in a healthy way) in 2 1/2 months.  Besides, I had made a goal 10 years ago to do an iron man by the time I turned 40.  Guess what? I turned 40 two weeks ago and am no where close to doing an iron man. Maybe this idiocy of mine is just the shove I need to get me started down the path of completing a bucket list item I've had for more than 10 years.

Wish me luck!  ...I'm gonna need it.

9 Reasons Why I LIKE Being Fat

I think if I'm going to rant about how much being fat is, I must be truthful and state the reasons why it is also NICE being fat.  Yes, at times it IS nice to be fat.  If there wasn't a reward, then why would so many people do it, right?

So here is my honest, unfiltered list of why it is nice to be fat.  And for the record: None of it is nice enough to STAY fat.  Therefore, I am on this weight-loss journey to change my life and become the sort of person I want to be: Healthy.

9 Reasons Why I Like Being Fat

1. I can eat whatever I want
2. Chocolate.  Need I say more?
3. I am 'comfortable' to my children.  They like to snuggle with me when I'm fat because there is lots of padding.  I remember as a child loving to cuddle with MY mom because she was so comfortable.  It's a good memory for me.
4. Food is less expensive.  Don't let anyone tell you different.  When I begin to eat healthy, my grocery budget increases 30-40%.  Crap is cheap.  That's why it's crap. 
5. I'm invisible.  This is good and this is bad. I am an introvert.  Therefore, I don't like getting a lot of attention.  I was often put in uncomfortable situations when I was healthy and spent many years appreciating the anonymity that comes with being looked-over by others (which happens when you don't stand out in a crowd).
6. I am often underestimated.  People think that because you are overweight you are lazy, unmotivated, undisciplined, or a host of other things.  I am not.  If you need examples, go to: http://susansepicweightloss.blogspot.com/2015/05/why-my-weight-loss-will-not-be-priority.html and take a look at my day. I sold a business I built from the ground up that made six figures in order to be a stay at home mom for my children, and I don't regret it one bit.  But because I choose to work from home and am overweight, I am often overlooked or underestimated.  That's OK with me.  I have bigger priorities, and I often surprise people with what I'm capable when I do choose to commit (thus my weight loss! - don't underestimate me!)
7. I don't have to work out.  Admittedly, there are MANY things I like about working out - or activities, I should say.  Lifting weights is not my favorite.  Give me a volleyball, or ask me to go outside and play, and I'm your girl!
8. I don't have to worry about swimsuit season because I'M NOT WEARING ONE! You're welcome.
9. It fills in all my wrinkles.  Yep! Little known secret: Fat women/men have less wrinkle because the fat fills in the wrinkles.  When I lose my weight, I'll start looking older.  As of 2 weeks ago, the general consensus was that I look about 27 or 28 years old (I just turned 40!).  I guarantee you that 100 or even 40 lbs from now, I will be looking considerably older.  Note to self: Test this theory in 50 lbs. 

Susan's Epic Weight Loss: Up 2 lbs. Thanks Aunt Flo!!

Yep, It's official.  I hate periods.  I weight myself today and I'm up 2 lbs.  I know. I KNOW.  I'm not supposed to weigh every day because there are usually fluctuations.  But I'm not that kind of girl.  When I weigh myself and see the numbers go up, I will instinctively work harder, or watch my portions more religiously.  And that's a good thing, right?

So, when I saw the 2 pound weight gain, even though I know it's probably from water retention due to Aunt Flo, I upped my water to 12 glasses, hit the treadmill, watched my food portions (no dessert, or garlic bread), and generally stayed out of trouble.  And according to MyfitnessPal, I've only consumed 1350 calories, which to a normal person would be fine, but for someone my size is darned near starvation - especially when the program says I burned 500 calories exercising/walking today.

I was only able to walk a mile and put in 18:39 minutes of walking before the lower back pain was unbearable - kind of like the sciatic nerve running down the butt and legs, but I'm determined to add more time each day.  Plus I upped my speed and resistance a bit to offset the lack of time I could put in.  If I can only work out 20 minutes, by golly I'm gonna sweat every stinkin' second of it!

It's frustrating to be at such a low starting point.  There was a time when I was doing 10 miles a day, or biking 20 miles, and working out 3 hours.  But that was before the two little ones came along.  One day I will be back there again.  This weight loss journey is a marathon, not a sprint.  I'm in it for the long haul.

Until next time....

32 Things I Hate About Being Fat

The last time I accomplished a major weight loss, it was nearly 6 years ago resulting in an 80 pound loss and me getting pregnant (after 10 years!)  One of the things I remember vividly toward the end of the journey was how quickly I forgot some aspects of being fat.  In the three months it took to lose the weight, I forgot some of the more truly morbid aspects of being obese. So this time around, I want to make sure to document those things, so that I won't forget.  And so I can use it as ammunition to keep me from gaining the weight back again...for whatever reason.

Susan's Epic Weight Loss
32 Things I Hate About Being Fat
This is me in April - Looking the NICEST I've looked in years.

Things I Hate About Being Fat

1. Not being able to climb a single flight of stairs without being winded.
2. Having my 4 year-old run faster than me.
3. Losing sensation in my arms and hands if I'm at a task for too long. The bigger I get, the worse it is.
4. Excruciating lower back pain when I walk for more than 5 minutes.
5. Being too self-conscious to wear a swim suit in public.
6. Not owning any full-length mirrors.
7. HATING to shop. Period.
8. My feet are too fat for regular shoes.
9. Being too self-conscious to eat (or work out) in public because I feel like everyone is judging me.
10. Feeling as if I don't deserve to be pampered and cared for. I'll 'earn it' when I get skinnier.
11. Being virtually invisible to strangers.
12. Being unable to play volleyball or hike - or any physical activity for that matter.
13. Rising from a sitting position on the floor is darned near impossible.
14. Having difficulty reaching my butt when I wipe.
15. The overhang of  my stomach.
16. Having a stomach that is bigger than my rather substantial boobs.
17. The double chin from hell.
18. Having difficulty tying my shoes.
19. Never wanting to have my picture taken.  Crying when I see my picture.
20. Realizing I've become just like my mother.
21. Wondering if my husband or children are ashamed of me.

22.  Avoiding places where I might meet old friends for fear they'll judge me for gaining so much weight since high school. 

23.    Plus sized clothing.  Ewwwww.

24.    Any shoes with more than 2 inch heels are too tall and hurt my feet

25.    Not going on rides or zip lining because I won't fit or weigh too much for the ride.

26.    $80 bras are the norm.

27.    My fingers are too fat for rings.

28.    Restaurant booths are a snug fit.

29.    My lap is almost too small for my son to sit on.

30.    Lingerie.  Yeah, not gonna happen.

31.    Neuropathy in my legs and feet.

32.    Being too embarrassed to dance.

...And the list goes on.  Be sure to come back.  I'm sure I'll add more as I consider this further.

Starting Point: Susan's Epic Weight Loss Measurements.

I should have done this sooner, but things became crazy around here.  Better late than never though, right?




OK, as of today, this is my Starting weight: 294.8 lbs (However, I started at 303.2 lbs)





















Fat: 55.8%
Water: 32.2 %

Neck: 16"
Bust: 49 1/4"
Arm: 16 3/4"
Waist: 50"
Lower Abs: 56"
Hips: 57"
Thigh: 24 3/4"
Calf: 17"

Pant Size: 24/26 Women
Shirt: 2XL
Shoes: Size 11 or 10 WW

I will try to add new pics and measurements every 10-20 lbs.  Let the games begin!!