Bleacher Laps: Feeling the Burn

I've been working out pretty hard trying to get back into shape.  I've been playing with the same 4 or 5 lbs for the last week or two, so I decided to mix things up a bit and hit the bleachers for some bleacher laps intermixed with walking around the track while my oldest son worked with his track throwing coach.

I put in 6 bleacher laps and a mile around the track before the 90 degree F weather finally caught up with me and I had to stop. I think I worked out for a good 45 minutes in the sun.

The interesting thing I noticed as I was working out was that my lungs never got to that point where I was gasping for breath.  The majority of my effort was in the legs.  They were burning and cramping something fierce.

Yes, I was doing stairs.  And yes, I stayed hydrated.  An interesting tidbit about being so severely overweight is that underneath all of that fat (at least there is for me) there's a bunch of muscle already.  You NEED that muscle to heft around all this extra weight.

For example, halfway through my bleacher laps, an athletic guy showed up and started running the bleachers.  Good for him!  He's in shape and he's putting forth an effort.  And one day I hope to be running the bleachers just like him.  The difference right now, though, is that I'm traversing the bleachers with 20 lb weights on each leg.  20 lbs of FAT covering the muscle I possess.  With each step, I must lift that extra 20 lbs.

Consider this for a moment.  How far do you think that same man (or a women) would get with a 160 lb person on their back?  Would they be able to run very far before they get winded, or body parts begin to ache?  Could they even do the bleacher laps with someone on their back? That's what it's like for me.  I'm an athletic person with 160 lbs of dead weight hanging off my body. And until I lose that weight, my muscles will constantly be burning and aching, slowly lessening as ounce by ounce, that dead weight is burned into nothingness.

So, this morning, when I began to walk down the stairs and felt my quads screaming in agony, I smiled.  Because for the first time since I began, I was feeling a GOOD pain.  Lactic acid had built up and my body was building more muscle.

I have surpassed the hardest part of the 'torture' phase of my weight loss faster than anticipated.  Now I can begin the burn & build stage:  Burn the fat and build the muscle.  Yes!!!!!

 

Sometimes You Just Have to Pull Your Big Girl Panties and DO IT!

Yeah, it was one of those days.  I started the day FANTASTIC.  But somewhere between picking up messes, teaching a class at church, and work, I lost all motivation.  Oh, and the 5 friggin' brownies I ate for lunch.  Yeah, that was all I had. Brownies.  My body rewarded me by being sick for the rest of the night (serves me right).  I've had issues with chocolate ever since my 4th child was born.  It upsets my stomach.  Does that stop me? Nope.  I'm a woman for Pete's sake!  The only thing I desire more than chocolate is pizza.  And we've already had that conversation. :(

So, when 9:00 pm (my designated work out time) came and went, then 10:00 turned to 10:30pm I realized I had to make a decision.  Was I going to put my big girl panties on and do what had to be done? Or was I gonna wuss out and go to bed instead?

Yep.  I got off my sorry butt and worked out.  Not only that, but I added .2 mph to my speed, another 12 minutes (almost 50% longer than yesterday) to my time, and doubled my distance - 2.7 miles.  Not bad considering I started at 1/2 a mile a couple weeks ago. 

Any bets on what my weight loss will be in the morning??  I'm hoping karma will reward me by ignoring those stupid brownies today. 

4 Things that have changed in my body after losing 12 lbs

It's crazy to think I'm already down 12 lbs since I started this journey.  Already, I'm beginning to see and feel changes in my body.

For instance, in the beginning, I used to be able to walk only 7 MINUTES before my lower back was in such excruciating pain that I had to stop and rest before continuing.  Guess what?  Yesterday, I spent 30 minutes on the treadmill with only minor pain.

Guess what else?  My clothes are beginning to be loose.  Not just 'gee the thighs in my pants are baggy', but 'Holy freak!  If I have to hitch up my pants one more time I'm gonna scream!' sort of baggy.  Shirts that used to be my last resort, are suddenly being considered for the Goodwill pile.

And, wonder of all wonders, I have MORE energy.  You may think, "Hey, that's kind of nice."  But one must remember that I already only get about 5-6 hours of sleep per night.  For the last two nights I've fallen asleep around 1 a.m. (it takes me longer to fall asleep - not the other way around like most people) and I'm wide awake around 5 a.m.  That equates to about 4 hours sleep.  Plus, I'm off all forms of caffeine.  No coffee, no tea, no caffeinated pops, or even chocolate.  Yet, I'm usually able to get through the whole day with only a 30 minute nap around 6 pm, then I'm good for the rest of the night.

The numbness in my hands is going down.  It's not gone yet, but it's also not constant any more.  That, alone is worth the 12 lb weight loss.

All in all, I'm satisfied where things are headed.  I wish I could drop my weight faster, but I'm also aware that it takes a great deal of effort to get the boulder rolling.

Stay with me!  There are many more amazing things to come!

First Day on the Trails. I Think I Almost Died.

Me after the work out. Beet Red!

My sweet husband woke up this fine Saturday morning and asked me what my plans were.  I told him I had a bit of work to do, and then I wanted to take a walk.  He then told me he'd been planning on going on a walk to and asked if we could go now.

I dropped what I was doing and put on some shoes (I was already in work-out clothes to help motivate me to get my butt out of the house...eventually).

We headed over to the trails that follow the Spokane River for our walk. He asked how far I wanted to go, and I told him my hope was to go 3 miles.  Yeah, I know it's not far, but it is when I stop at a mile on the treadmill.

Walking always seems to take three times longer on a treadmill. Blech!

I was able to get about a mile into my walk before my back was screaming, my hands were so swollen I couldn't make a fist, and my calves were beginning to cramp up, and my hips hurt.  Oh, how I love the beginning weeks of losing weight.  NOT!!

The start of a massive blister. Isn't it pretty? I shall name it Henry

KC asked me if we needed to turn back and I promptly told him NO!  I will finish this walk even if I have to stop 30 times and I'm crawling to the car! Little did he know how close to the truth that may be.

The nice thing, as he pointed out, about walking the trails vs. a treadmill, is that on the trails you must turn around and walk back.  You HAVE to walk back.  You don't have a choice, unless you want to die there on the trails. With a treadmill, you can get tired and step off and be done.

When we got to our half-way point, I had to stop and rest my back for about 5 minutes.  My boobs and stomach are too big!  It was hurting my back too much - if felt very much akin to labor pains.

So I sat down, relieved the pressure on my back, the stood up.  KC asked if I needed more time and I told him, "This is as good as I'm ever gonna feel, so we might as well get started."

My fingers are so swollen they look like stuffed sausages!

I did pretty good for the first 1/2 mile, then the pain in my back commenced again, followed by my hands (from the swelling), then my shins, calves, quads, and hips.  KC very nicely slowed his pace as I adjusted my stride, and quietly endured the experience through gasps of air.

It wasn't pretty, but I finished without having to stop, and I have the start of only one major blister on my left heel to show for the experience.

I came home with my face beet red, my shirt covered in sweat marks, and my fingers tingling from lack of sensation. There were moments I felt like I was going to die of a heart attack, or pass out from hyperventilation.  But I also came home with a sense of accomplishment.  The fist step is often the hardest, and today was no exception.  Working out at 295 lbs is no easy task, but as long as I persist - remembering that at this point it is merely a war of the wills - I will succeed and it will get better until working out is eventually fun.  It will EVENTUALLY become something I look forward to and crave.

Fat Girls Don't Run Triathlons

OK, whose bright idea was it to sign me up for a triathlon?

Oh. That's right.  It was me.  I was the idiot who agreed to do one.  Brilliant.

In case you didn't get the memo (because I apparently didn't), 300 lb women don't run triathlons.  OK, to be fair, I'm sure there's probably SOMEONE out there who does.  But I don't.  I'm too FAT.

Lucky for me, it's only a Sprint distance triathlon.  Though that may be enough to kill me off.
My little sister, after seeing some of my blog posts, suggested I join her in this truly amazing (cough cough) endeavor and train so that we can both do the triathlon together in September.

Apparently, I was still on my walker's high and thought that, after walking an entire 18 minutes on the treadmill, I was invincible.  Maybe I should restrict my Internet time after my evening work-outs.  Apparently I'm a hazard to myself. But I digress...

5K run? No problem.  I can walk if I need to. 10 mile bike ride?  Sure. No problem.  1 mile swim?  Yeah, I'm gonna drown.  Mebbe I should dust off my floaties, or strap on a life jacket.  At least they'll find my body that way.

In all seriousness though, this triathlon scares the CRAP out of me. Why? Because I CAN'T run a triathlon at this weight.

But you know what?  I don't intend to.  I have 2 1/2 months to train like crazy and lose as much weight as possible so that I can participate.  The goal isn't to win. Not by any means.  It's merely to compete...and not die.  Yes, life after the triathlon would be good.

I can lose a lot of weight (in a healthy way) in 2 1/2 months.  Besides, I had made a goal 10 years ago to do an iron man by the time I turned 40.  Guess what? I turned 40 two weeks ago and am no where close to doing an iron man. Maybe this idiocy of mine is just the shove I need to get me started down the path of completing a bucket list item I've had for more than 10 years.

Wish me luck!  ...I'm gonna need it.

Susan's Epic Weight Loss: Up 2 lbs. Thanks Aunt Flo!!

Yep, It's official.  I hate periods.  I weight myself today and I'm up 2 lbs.  I know. I KNOW.  I'm not supposed to weigh every day because there are usually fluctuations.  But I'm not that kind of girl.  When I weigh myself and see the numbers go up, I will instinctively work harder, or watch my portions more religiously.  And that's a good thing, right?

So, when I saw the 2 pound weight gain, even though I know it's probably from water retention due to Aunt Flo, I upped my water to 12 glasses, hit the treadmill, watched my food portions (no dessert, or garlic bread), and generally stayed out of trouble.  And according to MyfitnessPal, I've only consumed 1350 calories, which to a normal person would be fine, but for someone my size is darned near starvation - especially when the program says I burned 500 calories exercising/walking today.

I was only able to walk a mile and put in 18:39 minutes of walking before the lower back pain was unbearable - kind of like the sciatic nerve running down the butt and legs, but I'm determined to add more time each day.  Plus I upped my speed and resistance a bit to offset the lack of time I could put in.  If I can only work out 20 minutes, by golly I'm gonna sweat every stinkin' second of it!

It's frustrating to be at such a low starting point.  There was a time when I was doing 10 miles a day, or biking 20 miles, and working out 3 hours.  But that was before the two little ones came along.  One day I will be back there again.  This weight loss journey is a marathon, not a sprint.  I'm in it for the long haul.

Until next time....

Why my weight loss will not be a priority in my life

So, I thought it might be a good idea to join Instagram.  I thought it would be fun to encourage others struggling with the same weight loss issues I am.  So far, all I've found are a bunch of very muscular, skinny people who probably spend more time in 1 day working on health and fitness than I do in a week.  Of course, that may be why they're all skinny and fit and I'm 150 lbs overweight.

That's great.  That's fine.  If that is your priority, I'm all for it.  It's an honorable endeavor.  However, before anyone judges me on how I go about this whole weight-loss thingy, I want you to spend a couple minutes in my shoes...or at least check out a typical day for me so that you'll understand WHY I do not plan on spending 3 hours a day on my health and fitness. But I WILL put it on my schedule and make sure I carve more time for it.

• 5:30 a.m. My 4-year-old son with Down syndrome wakes me up.  If I'm lucky, I can get him to lay with me till 6, but chances are, he's been up since 4:30, run through the house, torn everything to shreds, and finally came to me when there was nothing left to destroy and he was bored.  Don't worry - all dangerous items are locked safely away, and the house is locked up tight.  
• 6:00 a.m. I begin the arduous process of waking up my 15 year-old and my 6 year-old.  This process usually entails pounding on my teen's door 3 or 4 separate times, flipping his light switch on, threatening him with bodily harm, yelling, and occasionally laying on him until he surrenders and climbs out of bed.  Between visits to the teen, I must sing (yes, sing) my 6-year old awake to avoid any little-girl tantrums, help her find her clothes (because she is incapable of finding the outfit I laid directly next to her when I walked in the room), cook her breakfast, and make sure she eats it.  Then, I run after my 4 year-old trying to change his pull-up, and wrestle him into his clothes so that we can take said teenager to early-morning seminary. 
• 7:00 - Teen gets taken to seminary.  We pick up more kids for the Elementary school carpool, drop them (and my 6-year-old) off, then head home.
• 8:00 a.m.  I try to squeeze in a bite to eat while simultaneously running after my son who has climbed up onto the counter (or kitchen sink) and is now dumping any and all food the older kids left behind all over the floor or counter - or eating it himself.  Then, I try to convince him (I usually fail) to keep his clothes on while I spend the next several hours following behind him cleaning up mess after mess.  Finally around 10 a.m. I give up and let him go at it.  Screw it. I'll clean up his mess when he goes to pre-school (Don't judge me). 
• From 10:00 am - Noon: We work on his speech therapy, I try to squeeze in a little time returning e-mails and doing social media, he's fed, re-dressed for school, I make any phone calls needed for the day, etc. 
• 12:00 a.m. my son goes to school and I collapse into a heap on the couch.  I love the boy DEARLY but he is some serious work!  From 12 - 2 is when I race around like a maniac getting everything done that can't be accomplished with children in the house: dentist appointments, personal doctor's appointments, grocery shopping, cleaning the house, filling orders, last-minute work on any one of my websites, running errands, etc.  
• 2:00-4:00 the 6-year-old and the teen come home and we prep for evening.  Go through school work, check our schedule to see what is on tap for the evening, start dinner, last-minute cleaning, mow lawns/water grass and plants, etc.
• 4:00 - 7:00 is dinner prep & eating, activities for the kids, the 4 year-old comes home, and I field faxes for my part time job doing transcription work at home.
• 7:00 - 9:00 the evening bed-time ritual occurs for the little ones. 
• 9:00 - I work out
• 10:00 - 1:00 a.m. - I do my transcription work, followed by any other work that needs to be done on my business, websites, and writing my books.  At 1:00 I fall into bed and try to remember to breathe. 

With that said, I think I'm going to call it a night and go to bed an hour early.  Looking at my schedule for tomorrow already has me tired.  Whew!

Starting my Journey of a 160 pound weight loss TODAY...OK I started a week ago.

Did you miss me? I missed you.  I missed the time I spent working out, feeling great, and losing weight.  

What happened to me, you ask?  Well it's simple really.  My daughter got sick.  No, not cough cough sick.  More like, You've got a giant hole in your heart and you're going to stroke-out and die so you'd better get that fixed kind of sick.  Yeah.  So losing weight got derailed for about 4 or 5 months until she had her surgery.

  During that time I had several epiphanies (I'll leave those stories for later).  But most importantly, I realized that the crap is ALWAYS going to be hitting the fan for me.  And I'm ALWAYS going to be busy.  So, it's time to suck it up and get to work.  Nothing will change unless I make it change and make my health a priority. 

In the mean time, I'll give you an update and my new starting point.  This picture is my most recent of me - at 300 lbs.  Yep.  I finally broke that blasted barrier (and cried).  I see so much of my mother in me now (again, a story for another time) and I don't want to be my mother.  At least not in the weight department. 

 Now, I have close to 160 lbs to lose.  Believe you me.  I know how next to impossible that sounds.  But I also know what I'm made of.  And I know what this journey is going to require in order to be successful.  And I'm up for the challenge.  And the humiliation (I'll be posting VIDEOS this time!) 

Needless to say, stay in touch.  My baby is better, and I'm back on track. I've already lost 6 lbs (I started a week ago - seriously).  So now, it's time to document the crap out of my journey.  I hope someone gets something out of my weight loss journey.  Even if it IS just me.


Yep. This is gonna be EPIC!