I'm Baaaaack!

Have you missed me?  I've missed me.  Well, I've missed my weight loss journey.  Since my last post, I finished my interning.  Then I started college.  To give you an idea of how crazy it got there for a while, an average college student takes 3 classes per semester.  I was taking five and six each QUARTER. Online.

No. Online isn't easier.  It's harder.  They expect more participation from you.  There are several assignments per week, and you're expected to not only post on the message boards, but interact with the other students and site sources justifying your answers.  Luckily, I only had to do two quarters.  I seriously think I would've shot myself if I had to do another quarter.  Remember, I have four kids and a husband to worry about during this process too.  It's not like I didn't have other things to worry about.  Life still went on.

Anyway, everything except the absolute essentials stopped for six months.  And I mean ESSENTIALS.  Laundry? Meh.  Dishes? Eventually.  Vacuuming? Nope. Tubs & toilets? I now know at what point the toilet will talk back if you don't clean it. (shudder).  I won't lie.  It was a dark time in my life.  We ate out A LOT. I gained weight. Go figure.

Now, college is complete, I just passed my test, and should be starting my new job in the next few weeks.  Now, it is time to return to my life, and establish my new normal.  ...Just in time for Summer break . Gah!

But that's okay.  I will make this work.  Somehow.  Some way.

First, I need to establish my new weight:  306.4 lbs  - I was up to 311 lbs about a week ago, and that was the catalyst for me to STOP what I was doing.

Yep.  Don't judge.  Okay, judge all you want.  I don't care.  It is what it is and no amount of shaming is going to change that.  What's important is that I'm taking a stand now.

I'm back on the trails, which I haven't done in more than eight years.  I realized that the treadmill wasn't working for me.  I would only do about 7 1/2 minutes (yes, I'm THAT out of shape), then the pain in my back, compensating for the weight in my stomach and boobs, would be so much that I'd stop, rest for 10 minutes, then get back on again.  By the time I was done, I'd complete 1 mile and would've taken an hour to do it.  Pathetic.

So, I hit the trails knowing that however far I went, I still had to turn around and come back!  It worked. But it was also friggin' HELL.  Luckily there were park benches along the trail (whoever thought of that should get a special place in heaven for being so thoughtful).  I hit my half way mark, sat for about 10 minutes, then started heading back.  By the time I hit the final curve, and could see my car, I was desperately trying not to limp...or crawl.  After all, there was a huge group of retired people, some with walkers, on the trail at the same time as me.  I had to at least do better than them!

By the time I was done, I had walked nearly two miles in about 45 minutes.  Still not fantastic, but a heck of a lot better than the stupid treadmill.  Plus, I got to view lots of pretty scenery!!

First Day on the Trails. I Think I Almost Died.

Me after the work out. Beet Red!

My sweet husband woke up this fine Saturday morning and asked me what my plans were.  I told him I had a bit of work to do, and then I wanted to take a walk.  He then told me he'd been planning on going on a walk to and asked if we could go now.

I dropped what I was doing and put on some shoes (I was already in work-out clothes to help motivate me to get my butt out of the house...eventually).

We headed over to the trails that follow the Spokane River for our walk. He asked how far I wanted to go, and I told him my hope was to go 3 miles.  Yeah, I know it's not far, but it is when I stop at a mile on the treadmill.

Walking always seems to take three times longer on a treadmill. Blech!

I was able to get about a mile into my walk before my back was screaming, my hands were so swollen I couldn't make a fist, and my calves were beginning to cramp up, and my hips hurt.  Oh, how I love the beginning weeks of losing weight.  NOT!!

The start of a massive blister. Isn't it pretty? I shall name it Henry

KC asked me if we needed to turn back and I promptly told him NO!  I will finish this walk even if I have to stop 30 times and I'm crawling to the car! Little did he know how close to the truth that may be.

The nice thing, as he pointed out, about walking the trails vs. a treadmill, is that on the trails you must turn around and walk back.  You HAVE to walk back.  You don't have a choice, unless you want to die there on the trails. With a treadmill, you can get tired and step off and be done.

When we got to our half-way point, I had to stop and rest my back for about 5 minutes.  My boobs and stomach are too big!  It was hurting my back too much - if felt very much akin to labor pains.

So I sat down, relieved the pressure on my back, the stood up.  KC asked if I needed more time and I told him, "This is as good as I'm ever gonna feel, so we might as well get started."

My fingers are so swollen they look like stuffed sausages!

I did pretty good for the first 1/2 mile, then the pain in my back commenced again, followed by my hands (from the swelling), then my shins, calves, quads, and hips.  KC very nicely slowed his pace as I adjusted my stride, and quietly endured the experience through gasps of air.

It wasn't pretty, but I finished without having to stop, and I have the start of only one major blister on my left heel to show for the experience.

I came home with my face beet red, my shirt covered in sweat marks, and my fingers tingling from lack of sensation. There were moments I felt like I was going to die of a heart attack, or pass out from hyperventilation.  But I also came home with a sense of accomplishment.  The fist step is often the hardest, and today was no exception.  Working out at 295 lbs is no easy task, but as long as I persist - remembering that at this point it is merely a war of the wills - I will succeed and it will get better until working out is eventually fun.  It will EVENTUALLY become something I look forward to and crave.