I'm Baaaaack!

Have you missed me?  I've missed me.  Well, I've missed my weight loss journey.  Since my last post, I finished my interning.  Then I started college.  To give you an idea of how crazy it got there for a while, an average college student takes 3 classes per semester.  I was taking five and six each QUARTER. Online.

No. Online isn't easier.  It's harder.  They expect more participation from you.  There are several assignments per week, and you're expected to not only post on the message boards, but interact with the other students and site sources justifying your answers.  Luckily, I only had to do two quarters.  I seriously think I would've shot myself if I had to do another quarter.  Remember, I have four kids and a husband to worry about during this process too.  It's not like I didn't have other things to worry about.  Life still went on.

Anyway, everything except the absolute essentials stopped for six months.  And I mean ESSENTIALS.  Laundry? Meh.  Dishes? Eventually.  Vacuuming? Nope. Tubs & toilets? I now know at what point the toilet will talk back if you don't clean it. (shudder).  I won't lie.  It was a dark time in my life.  We ate out A LOT. I gained weight. Go figure.

Now, college is complete, I just passed my test, and should be starting my new job in the next few weeks.  Now, it is time to return to my life, and establish my new normal.  ...Just in time for Summer break . Gah!

But that's okay.  I will make this work.  Somehow.  Some way.

First, I need to establish my new weight:  306.4 lbs  - I was up to 311 lbs about a week ago, and that was the catalyst for me to STOP what I was doing.

Yep.  Don't judge.  Okay, judge all you want.  I don't care.  It is what it is and no amount of shaming is going to change that.  What's important is that I'm taking a stand now.

I'm back on the trails, which I haven't done in more than eight years.  I realized that the treadmill wasn't working for me.  I would only do about 7 1/2 minutes (yes, I'm THAT out of shape), then the pain in my back, compensating for the weight in my stomach and boobs, would be so much that I'd stop, rest for 10 minutes, then get back on again.  By the time I was done, I'd complete 1 mile and would've taken an hour to do it.  Pathetic.

So, I hit the trails knowing that however far I went, I still had to turn around and come back!  It worked. But it was also friggin' HELL.  Luckily there were park benches along the trail (whoever thought of that should get a special place in heaven for being so thoughtful).  I hit my half way mark, sat for about 10 minutes, then started heading back.  By the time I hit the final curve, and could see my car, I was desperately trying not to limp...or crawl.  After all, there was a huge group of retired people, some with walkers, on the trail at the same time as me.  I had to at least do better than them!

By the time I was done, I had walked nearly two miles in about 45 minutes.  Still not fantastic, but a heck of a lot better than the stupid treadmill.  Plus, I got to view lots of pretty scenery!!

Changing the Dynamics: I'm Going Back To Work!

Holy smokes!  What have I got myself into?!?

My First Day of Work!

After nearly 21 years as a stay-at-home mother, I have decided it's time to go back to college.  I'd been toying with the idea off and on for several years, but it never seemed to be the right time.  6 years ago, I was preparing to enter the work force full time.  My kids were in school full-time, my online business was BOOMING, and I was putting out feelers for people I could hire as employees.  I was ready to take the leap.  All the sudden, after 10 years of infertility, I wound up pregnant.

When we started having children the first time around, my husband and I agreed that we would not bring children into this world, if I was going to hire someone to raise them. So, I put my personal aspirations aside, and put all my energy into being the best mother I could be.  I'm certainly not the best in the WORLD by any stretch of the imagination.  But I was the best I could be.

When I wound up pregnant with our third, I put aside my aspirations again, and prepared for another round of motherhood.  Then, 6 months later, BOOM! The pregnancy bomb hit again.  We were going to have a fourth.  This time, he was special needs.  All my attention was needed to care for him, so I sold my online business and got serious about this mothering thing.

It's been nearly 5 years now, and little Jacob has one more year until he's in school full-time. This year he will be gone approximately 4 hours in pre-school and therapies.  So, after much discussion with my husband, and exhaustive research, we decided that NOW was the time for me to get my education so that I could re-enter the workforce next year when he starts school.

Luckily, I had one year of college under my belt from before we were married, and I had taken 12 courses (yes, that's 6 per semester).  Most of those classes still transfer after all these years (crazy, huh?).  So, I am going to major in Addiction Studies (or Sociology, depends on what the counselor says when I talk to her next week).

I am working toward getting my ISAS - Idaho Student of Addiction Studies certificate - which only requires 8 classes (2 quarters of classes for me) and 300 internship hours.  Rather than taking the courses and THEN interning, I'm doing this backwards.  I have 1 month to get my hours while my oldest is still home from school and I have family to care for Jacob and minimize his shell-shock of me being gone.  Then, when Elisha goes off to college, I will also go back through online classes so that I can do my work while the little ones are in bed. My daughter and I will both be Sophomores in college - AT THE SAME TIME!

At the end of my two quarters, I will in essence be just a few classes away from graduating.  Until then, I am working 40-50 hour weeks this month, as an intern, learning all the in's and out's of addiction, case management, counseling and what-not.  Wish me luck!  And pray for me!  It's been a really really REALLY long time since I've been in the work force OR in college.  And I don't want this new endeavor to affect my family too terribly much.  But I think the time is right for me and our family.

Cross your fingers!

...Oh, and by the way, I went to work with two different sized earrings on.  Yeah, that's how I roll! :)