Back in the Saddle Again. Why I Keep Coming Back for More

Yes, it's been a while since I posted. Yes, I'm at it again. Yes, I'm tired of trying and failing. But I'm going to try AGAIN. Why? Well let me tell you a little story.

My mother and I at my high school graduation

I am the seventh of ten children. My mom stayed at home because, well, what else are you going to do with ten kids? She did the very best she could considering the circumstances.  And over forty years of child-rearing, she gained weight.  A lot of it.

She tried a bajillion different diets. I remember her going to TOPs (Take off Pounds Sensibly) and Overeaters Anonymous.  I remember seeing hypnosis audio tapes, Weight Watchers material, and a myriad of other attempts at losing weight.

I distinctly remember a point in sixth grade when I began to be embarrassed by what my mom looked like.  Yes, it's selfish, and horrible.  She was my mother. And I was twelve. Twelve-year-olds are selfish and horrible. During that time, I often recall asking myself, "Why doesn't she just...lose it? Eat less, work out more. It's not that hard."

Yeah. Said the 12 year old girl who was 98 lbs soaking wet and never had a problem with her weight until she had children of her own. Then I gained 60 lbs with my first child, and it all went downhill from there.

Soon, I found myself doing the same things my mother did...and failing. More often than not, I'd look in the mirror and see my mother. I would often wonder if my children were embarrassed of me like I was of Mom.  Except now I'm on the receiving end of the weight-loss discussion.

Me:2015

Why can't I just eat less and move more?  Well, to fully understand, a normal person would have to put another full-grown adult on their back and carry that person around during an entire workout. Then they'd understand how easily a person gets winded climbing stairs, or their back hurts after 15 minutes on the treadmill, or how something as simple as getting up from the floor becomes a chore.

Second, it ultimately comes down to time for me. I don't have any of it. I get 5 hours of sleep at night, if that.  It is difficult for me to give up even 30 minutes of that time to exercise.

Yet, here I am, trying again. Why?

Because I had a mother whom I loved dearly. She fought the good fight for decades and never managed to win. I think at some point, she just gave up, and her weight defeated her.

So each time I hit the treadmill, or drag myself out of bed, nearly in tears because I'm so stinking tired, I remember my mother. And I promise myself that I will not let my weight define me. I will not let my weight overpower me. And I will not be that mom that my children are ashamed of.  I will be the person I want to be. I will do the things I want to do.  I will not let my weight dictated what I can and cannot do.  And I will not let obesity defeat us both.

Therefore, I will try and try and try and try and TRY until I succeed.  Even if that means I have 9,999 more tries to go. I will not quit.

Current weight and Stats on today's workout.  Holding myself accountable and hoping to see progress. I will not quit.

10 Things I'm doing to ensure PERMANENT Weight Loss

1.  Working out EVERY DAY at least 20 minutes.
2.  Replacing soda with water & non-carbonated drinks like crystal light.  No juices.
3.  Eating more veggies
4.  Eating out less
5.  Learning to be more Mindful
6.  Learning how my thoughts affect my behaviors
7.  Making small, realistic goals
8.  Emphasizing the little changes.
9.  Taking care of myself NOW, not when I reach goal weight.
10. Drink more water!! Okay, this sounds a lot like #2, except, it's not. I don't usually drink much, and when I do, it's carbonated.  Now, I'm choosing to drink nearly a gallon of liquid. And that liquid will be water.

Update: 02/07/17 Working With a Trainer

Did you miss me?  I wish I could say the same.  I've been running around with my hair on fire...again.

Since my last post in November, my daughter got married, we had Christmas and New Years, I was working 50-hour work weeks, and then, I got sick.  For 3 weeks.  Sigh.

I'm so done with 2017. And it's only February!!

Luckily, out of sight didn't necessarily mean off the wagon.  I started working with a trainer on January 10th. And he's uh-maz-ing. 

Remember how, in older posts, I talked about the beginning phase of getting into shape would be absolute torture? Apparently I was wrong. No, seriously.  I was wrong.

I have met with Ryan of Phoenix Strength Systems 11 or 12 times now. Not consistently though.  I had a 3 week gap when I was sick, and then another week when I had the period from HELL.  And not a single one of our visits involved me being in any sort of pain.  Or relatively tired/winded.  The next couple of days? Well, that's another story.  But it was all good pain.  Muscles were changing, growing, and building.

In spite of the gaps between visits, I still managed to lose some inches.

New measurements:

Weight: 299.6 lbs (+.8 lbs)
Neck:  16" (- 1/4")
Bust:  49" (-1 1/4")
Upper Abs:  46 1/2" (-6 1/2")!!!
Lower Abs:  54" (same)
Hips: 55 1/2" (-1")
Thigh: 28" (same)
Bicep: 15 1/2" (- 1/2")
Calf: 17" (same)

My weight is essentially the same, but my inches are going down. Pretty cool, eh. Muscle takes up less space than fat, so the measurements tell me that I'm building some serious muscle. 

I even had someone tell me I looked skinner, and all my clothes are hanging differently (in a good way).  People don't normally notice changes in my body for at least 20-30 lbs.  And yet, they're noticing. :)

I enjoy working out this time around, which makes the discomfort of sore muscles the next day totally worth it!

Susan's Epic Weight Loss 11/04/16

Weight: 298.4  (1.8 lbs lost since yesterday)
Workout: Bodyflex

Measurements (starting):

Neck: 16 1/4"
Bust: 50 1/4"
Bicep: 16"
Upper Abs: 53"
Lower Abs: 54"
Hips: 56 1/2 "
Thigh: 28"
Calf: 17"


Breakfast:  Nothing

Lunch:  Shari's Triple Decker Club Sandwich; Side salad w/ranch on the side (no croutons): 700 calories

Dinner:  Almond Chicken (281 cal) , Sweet & Sour Chicken (276 calories), Beef & Broccoli (338 calories), Egg drop soup (66 calories):  Total calories: 861 calories   Diet Soda to drink

Total Calories:  1561


Synopsis:  Not as much energy as yesterday, but I've been up since 5 a.m. and I didn't even try to take a nap today.  Plus, I never hit the treadmill.

On another interesting note, I only ate twice today, and aside from lunch time, which was around 11:30 am (because I never had time for breakfast), I wasn't hungry at all. In fact, I didn't finish by breakfast or dinner.

Went to the movies tonight (Hacksaw Ridge is AMAZING, by the way) and didn't buy anything to eat.  I think that's the first time EVER we've never bought food at the movies.  It's always been a ritual until today.  Woohoo! It's all about change, baby!

Working Out Has Become a Family Affair

Summer has been crazy around here.  Much of it has been geared around sports and working out.  I am on my weight-loss journey, trying to lose as much weight as possible and training for a triathlon in September.  My oldest daughter is a college track athlete training for the upcoming year after a particularly devastating freshman year which involved heart surgery and a tumor on the pituitary gland.  My oldest son is an upcoming Sophomore in high school and is training for basketball and track.  And my husband has decided to jump on the bandwagon and get more active as well.

All of this training and working out has enabled us opportunities to try a bevy of new products to report back to you.


Wrist Wraps: We purchased wrist wraps which were primarily designed to help with weight lifting.  However, we quickly discovered (after talking to my oldest daughter) that these are particularly helpful if you are a shot putter.  She informed me that when she used the wraps, it automatically added distance to her throw.  Nathan, quickly grabbed one of the two pairs for himself, and we gave the second set to KC (the husband) to use for weight.  What we truly did NOT expect to discover, was that our youngest son with Down syndrome became obsessed with these wraps as well.

Jacob has always had certain sensory issues where he likes to take objects like string, yarn, or rope and tie them around his arms and neck.  I have no idea what sort of sensory feedback he gets from doing that, but it's an issue in our house, and after a particularly scary incident involving yarn, it means I don't do any knitting around our house.

Anyway, we quickly discovered, that Jake LOVES to have the wristwraps put around his wrists.  Nathan wraps them (they go nearly up to his little elbows) and velcros them, and Jake is happy as a clam!  He has even ransacked Nathan's room to find them and bring them to his big brother to request that they be wrapped around his arms.


Chalk Block:  Normally chalk is found in powder form in buckets.  However, we were able to test blocks of chalk with are particularly helpful when you are travelling.  For us, that meant that we could bring a block of chalk with us to the school when practicing shot put, rather than a zip lock bag, or forgoing the chalk all together due to how messy it is. Nathan said it was really soft, and went on pretty easy, but unlike the powdered stuff, you need to remember to put on lots of it, or crumble it in order to get enough chalk on your hands. Grade: A-

Testosterone Boost Supplement:  We have several supplements each family member is in the process of trying for various reasons.  One of the first supplements my husband tried was a Testosterone Boost Supplement.  He told me that the supplement was pretty good, and gave him energy, but it reacted with some of his gout prescriptions and gave him an upset stomach.  He would liked to have tried it Grade:  B (be careful if you're taking meds for gout - otherwise it's worth a try)
longer to see if he experienced more than just "more energy".

Pulse Massager:  When all the hard work is done, the husband and kids, run for the ElectroTherapy Massager.  It's become a staple in our post-workout activities.  Usually one, or all of them sit down at various times during the evening and place the pads on various muscles that have been hit hard by their trainer and let the massager work it's magic.  Though I would STRONGLY suggest turning the remote down to the lowest possible setting before turning it on.  It huts like a bugger if you turn it on at full blast!  They choose one of eight settings (Nate likes #2.  It reminds him of the massage chair at the chiropractor), then sets the timer, the level of intensity, and let it do it's magic.  We've already had to order new pads because I know the set we have now won't last this high usage much longer.
Grade: A

Scale: Finally, the latest addition to our happy health-conscious home has been a brand new scale! (I used the manufacturer's picture because A - my feet don't look that cute, and B-you can't see the numbers when I take a pic).  I'm very excited about this scale for several reasons.  First off, it connects to my smart phone, so the App will track my progress.  Secondly, it is smaller, thinner, and lighter than my old scale, which is important because space in our bathroom is at a premium.  Third, there are settings for each of our family members - so I can input my info including goal weight, age, gender, activity, etc and the scale will keep it and use it to create an accurate account of weight, fat, etc.  Plus, everyone else can do the same.  And fourth, it tells me I weigh less than my old scale!  Hahahaha!  I noticed the old scale was off when I went into my OBGYN several times over the last couple weeks and their scale kept telling me I weighed as much fully clothed as MY scale says I weigh buck naked.  Talk about an ego boost. Buy a new scale. Automatically weigh less! Yes!!!  Grade:  A+

*I received each of these products for free in exchange for an honest and unbiased review of each item

Book Review: The Secret to Successful Dieting

I've been working on weight loss for years now.  Twenty, to be exact.  That's how many years I've been a mom.  I began my first real weight loss attempt right after my oldest was born and I'd gained 60 lbs from Pre-Eclampsia and a month of bed rest.

In those 20 years I've tried lots of diets, exercise regimes, and read more books on the subject than I'd care to admit.  In many regards, I'd consider myself an expert, or at the very least well read on the subject.  But I'm not so full of myself to think that I know it all.  So, when I have a chance, I try to read an occasional diet and/or fitness book to see if there is anything new they can contribute to my knowledge base.


I was offered the chance to preview The Secret to Successful Dieting: Lose Weight and Live Well By Nancy N. Wilson  for free in exchange for an honest opinion.

It's a relatively short read that can be completed in a couple of hours or less if you aren't distracted.  Which means it took me a week (darn kids! lol).  This book was created specifically for yo-yo dieters like myself.  It was filled with several suggestions and ideas on what to do differently in order to make our next attempt at getting healthy (not dieting) a success.

I especially liked the 80/20 rule which said you don't have to adhere to your diet perfectly in order to experience success.  And I liked that no single weight-loss program was endorsed.  In fact, the author emphasized that many programs will work, depending on your special circumstances or health needs.
She wasn't extreme in her thinking, and she used common sense, which is often lost somewhere along the line during the desperation of trying to lose weight.

Links to resources and products she's used to find success were available in the e-book, as well websites, and explanations as to why her suggestions would work.

After all this time, I was still able to glean a few gems of information from this book that I will be able to use in my endeavors to live a healthier life.

I would give this book a B+

Xylacore: The First Tester Product I'm PAYING To Use Again

So, if you haven't noticed, I'm a professional product tester.  I test lots and lots of products.  This month alone, I've tested more than 50 different items.  Don't get me wrong.  I don't test just anything.  I choose each item because I am looking for something, and I'm hoping the items will be 'the one'.

For instance, one of the products I have spent the last month testing is called Xylacor.  I'm in the middle of a major weight-loss journey (160 lbs, to be exact), and I have been looking for things that aid me in the process.  I'm big into supplements and usually shy away from the all-in-one fat burning pills because I'm afraid of the side effects.

I don't know what came over me (maybe it's the hot pink pills that drew me in!) but when I saw Xylacor, I wanted to try it out.

It took a week before I realized what was happening.  I wasn't having cravings any more.  For the longest times cravings were one of the hardest things for me to control.  I am BIG into pizza and pop.  Like I eat pizza 2 to 3 times a week or more, and something equivalent to a 2-liter of diet soda per day.  It's a family thing.  Most of my family is like that. And, quite frankly, it shows on more than one of us.

A few days later, I realized that not only was I not craving sweets or pizza, I wasn't hungry all the time.  In fact, There was an entire week there I kept forgetting to EAT.  For a fat girl, that's unheard of.  You don't just forget to eat.  In fact, we're more apt to forget to STOP eating.  But I had days where I would be entering in my food for the day and realized I'd only had 800 calories.  Not good.  And yet oddly exciting.  How many times do you tell your spouse, "Yeah, I'll come to bed just as soon as I find something to eat.  I've gotta get my calories in for the day."

Yesterday I was 286.8.  Hmm I foresee my period coming on!
You'll see the difference in my belly.
It isn't sticking out beyond my boobs as much as they used to.
  Baby steps...

Then I noticed the extra energy.  I work nights, so I average about 4 hours sleep per night, which meant when my son took a nap during the day, so did I.  But this last month, I haven't felt as strong a need to sleep.  Now I can usually get through the day without crashing mid-day.  I'm not jittery, or hyper.  I just...don't crash.

The most exciting thing, though, has been the inches lost.  Oh my gosh! The inches lost around my belly!  It's frustrating to take pictures because they don't do the loss any justice.

What I can tell you is that I've lost 6 1/4" from my upper abs, 3" from my hips, and 1" from my waist (I just started measuring last week).  My stomach 'flap' has shrunk enough that I can see a difference when I look in the mirror, and I'm down a pant size.


I talked to my husband about the difference and he's noticed too.  In fact, he wanted to know if there's a male version of this pill (which there is).

I can honestly tell you that after nearly 4 weeks of using this pill as a part of my weight loss program, I am thoroughly convinced of the quality of Xylacor.  It truly does what it claims to do. And it is the very first product I've received for free, that I will be PAYING to use again because I like it that much.  Plus I will be buying a bottle of the male version for my husband.


P.S.  Don't forget what I said about the appetite!  Make sure you get enough calories each day to avoid putting your body into starvation mode!!

Trying to catch some Z's

After enduring the sleep study from hell a few months back with my son, the technician suggested to me that I should get my own sleep study because I was snoring. But the experience I'd had with Jake already told me everything I needed to know:  There was NO way I was coming back for a study of my own.  Especially if I felt I was getting enough sleep and wasn't tired in the morning, which I do not.

But, I am mindful of my poor husband having to hear me sawing wood at night.  So, I agreed to test  a "Stop Snoring Bundle", which consisted of nose cones and a strap that would go around my chin to keep my mouth shut, thus inhibiting my tongue from slipping down into my throat and causing me to snore.  I agreed to test the product for free in exchange for an honest and unbiased opinion.  No problem since I was already looking for something like this. 

A week ago, I went on a road trip to pick up my oldest daughter from visiting friends and had to stay in a hotel with my sister (who was kind enough to be the recipient of my night time snore fest test study).  

The strap was a little tricky, since I had my ling hair tied up into a messy bun and I had to finesse the two neoprene straps around the bun, but I prevailed!  My sister was kind enough to only laugh a little bit when I modeled the chin strap for her, then inserted the nose cones into my nose.  

And, for the record, the nose cones, though a bit funny looking, were pretty awesome.  They opened up my nose airways immediately, and there were several sizes to choose from depending on the size of my nostrils.  Plus, they were fairly inconspicuous and they stayed in all night long. 

The chin strap wasn't quite so lucky. Becca said that my snoring was less than usual, but she still heard a little bit.  I guess that's an improvement from the wild, angry bear my kids usually hear in my bedroom at night???  Oh wait.  Maybe that's my husband ;)  

In conclusion, what I can say is that the snoring bundle did improve my snoring, but didn't completely get rid of the sound, and I would totally use the nose cones again.  In fact, they're in my attache' case for the next trip I have to share a hotel room for some poor unsuspecting soul.  

Eating Healthy is Expensive!

So, yeah.  I'm trying really hard to eat healthy.  Some days are better than others.  I've found when I purchase healthy food, my food budget goes up about 40%. And when your food budget is already $700/month, adding 40% is PAINFUL.

I was given the opportunity to try an App called Price Comparer a few weeks ago.  I really had high hopes for this program because it's description said that it could help you save an average of 15% on your food budget by helping you figure out which items were cheaper at your favorite stores.

It's a FANTASTIC concept. No doubt about it.

So, I went to the grocery store, and bought my foods for the next couple of weeks, then set out to use this App.  I expected to be able to scan the bar codes and all the info would be available, like it is in the MyFitnessPal Ap I use.  This was not the case.  I had to scan the bar code, type in a description, then take a picture of the product (which only worked about 10% of the time).  Plus, the background was orange and the font was white, which made it difficult to read, not to mention there was no bar at the top of the screen where the navigation was, so words would overlap one another and I couldn't read them at all.

I was so disappointed with this program because it was extremely user friendly.

With that said, this has a TON of potential.  I don't think it's worth paying money for a program that you can essentially do for free through a spreadsheet.  But, should they ever fix the issues with the font, and make this program so that all you have to do is scan and enter your price, they'll make a killing on this Ap.  I would easily pay money for something like this...if it worked and were user-friendly.

Here's to hoping the designers read my post and make some tweaks to the program.  It'll be fantastic when all the kinks are smoothed out.



*DISCLAIMER:  I received this product for free in exchange for an honest and unbiased opininion.

Feeling Beautylicious! Finding Pamper Products That Work for Me

In my quest to indulge and pamper myself, I have been testing a plethora of different beauty products in search for items that will help me to become the best me I can be.

One of my biggest fears is that, as I lose weight, my skin will begin to show extreme amounts of wear and tear from years of abuse.  There is no way that a body will go from 300 lbs to 150 lbs without being left with some sort of residual damage from being obese.  I'm most concerned with:

 a) The overhang of my belly.  Having four kids and gaining 50 lbs from each one has caused a TON of stretch marks and overhang. I'm not sure if I'll have to get a tummy tuck in order to entirely rid myself of that 'flap', but I'll be darned if I'm not going to give it a valiant effort! ( more on this in a different blog post)

b) Wrinkles in my face when I thin out.


So far, I've been really lucky in the genetics department when it comes to my face.  I have no gray hair.  What you've see in the pics is my true hair color.  I don't really dye it.  And, I don't have hardly any wrinkles.  My theory, though, on the wrinkles is if I wait until they are in abundance, I've waited too long.  I am very proactive about my face, so I've been pretty regular about using different moisturizers and keeping the makeup to a minimum.  I've also tried several products to see if they help with the few small wrinkles I do have and help to prevent any more.

My most recent face products are: 

Forlan Skincare Night Cream

This night cream was AWESOME.  I have naturally dry skin, which doesn't bode well when I'm facing significant weight loss.  The changes in my skin were significant within 24 hours and I haven't had issues with dryness since.  I have noticed a few (like 2 or 3) pimples popping up, but that may be due to me not cleaning my face as well as I should (ahem).


Anaiti Luminous Cream & Dark Spot Corrector

This is hardcore stuff.  I originally requested this with the understanding that it was for dark spot correction - of which I'm beginning to notice a few on my face (yay! - NOT).  I used to have a Clinique foundation that was spot correcting, but I ran out a few months ago, and it's beginning to show.  Not good since I'm spending more time in the sun walking.  The old spot correctors I used left dry spots wherever I used them, but this is the consistency of body butter, but doesn't leave you oil OR dry.  It's just right.  Plus, it's gentle enough to use all over the face.  It's a keeper!



Anaiti Instant Wrinkle Filling Serum

Anaiti is 2 for 2. It's a line I'm certainly going to investigate further.  I was just as impressed with their wrinkle filling serum as I was their spot corrector.

I LOVE this stuff.  It is light weight, and after a week, I'm beginning to see the squint line between my eyebrows beginning to soften.  Wahoo.



Adeline Antioxidant Serum

Another winner from Adeline.  This has the consistency of watered down syrup (but in a good way, I swear!).  It's a light amber color, and soaks into the skin almost immediately, enabling my skin to tighten slightly and I noticed my foundation lasted longer when I used this serum first.




My Konjac Charcoal Bamboo Facial Sponge

This product was the most surprising product I tried.  It was touted as something that could be used to help get rid of blackheads, which is always good, plus it's cruelty free.  I expected it to be hard and scratchy at the very least.  It arrived in its package and was larger than I expected.  My daughter used it in the shower and told me how soft it was and how she didn't need any soaps to clean her face.  I tried it when I showered and had the same experience.  The sponge felt like a luxurious washcloth.  It was really nice.  It cleaned all the makeup off my face without the need for any soaps and my face was squeaky clean when done.  Plus, it didn't feel tight or dry like normal when I have to use my usual cleaners.


In all, these were all unqualified successes. So much so that my sister snagged a couple to take home for herself after I finished discussing them with her (she's a bit of a make-up snob). Luckily, I was able to hide a few of them before they completely disappeared and I had to start all over! I swear, I'm going to have to put a lock on my doors. But it's also nice to feel pampered.  It makes me want to work harder to take care of myself and continue to lose weight so I can test more!

*Disclaimer:  I received each of these items for free in exchange for an honest and unbiased opinion.  I do not receive any money should you decide to purchase these items through the links provided.