My Epic (or not-so-epic) attempts to lose weight. Attempt #896ish

Five months since my last post.

Have I lost weight? Actually, yeah.  Just not as much as I wanted.  I'm down to 300.2.  What is that? Like 6 pounds?  Well, if you're Trying to lose 10 lbs, an six pound loss is pretty good.  If you're trying to lose 160ish, then eight pounds is paltry, at best.  Sigh.



In the last five months, I started working as an addictions counselor.  And I wouldn't consider myself a good counselor, unless I took the information I shared with my clients, and applied it to my own life as well.

Many of my clients have been in and out of the judicial system, and dealing with addiction for years or decades.  When you've been living a life like this on repeat, experiencing the same cycle over and over again, it is easy to get the F-it's.  Why try again? Why go through the hassle, if you know you'll end up right back into addiction?

One evening,  I handed this quote out to each person.  The explanation behind it is:  If you give up, you've lost already.  It's the person who keeps trying over and over and OVER again who will succeed.

And that is why I'm back at it again.

32 Things I Hate About Being Fat

The last time I accomplished a major weight loss, it was nearly 6 years ago resulting in an 80 pound loss and me getting pregnant (after 10 years!)  One of the things I remember vividly toward the end of the journey was how quickly I forgot some aspects of being fat.  In the three months it took to lose the weight, I forgot some of the more truly morbid aspects of being obese. So this time around, I want to make sure to document those things, so that I won't forget.  And so I can use it as ammunition to keep me from gaining the weight back again...for whatever reason.

Susan's Epic Weight Loss
32 Things I Hate About Being Fat
This is me in April - Looking the NICEST I've looked in years.

Things I Hate About Being Fat

1. Not being able to climb a single flight of stairs without being winded.
2. Having my 4 year-old run faster than me.
3. Losing sensation in my arms and hands if I'm at a task for too long. The bigger I get, the worse it is.
4. Excruciating lower back pain when I walk for more than 5 minutes.
5. Being too self-conscious to wear a swim suit in public.
6. Not owning any full-length mirrors.
7. HATING to shop. Period.
8. My feet are too fat for regular shoes.
9. Being too self-conscious to eat (or work out) in public because I feel like everyone is judging me.
10. Feeling as if I don't deserve to be pampered and cared for. I'll 'earn it' when I get skinnier.
11. Being virtually invisible to strangers.
12. Being unable to play volleyball or hike - or any physical activity for that matter.
13. Rising from a sitting position on the floor is darned near impossible.
14. Having difficulty reaching my butt when I wipe.
15. The overhang of  my stomach.
16. Having a stomach that is bigger than my rather substantial boobs.
17. The double chin from hell.
18. Having difficulty tying my shoes.
19. Never wanting to have my picture taken.  Crying when I see my picture.
20. Realizing I've become just like my mother.
21. Wondering if my husband or children are ashamed of me.

22.  Avoiding places where I might meet old friends for fear they'll judge me for gaining so much weight since high school. 

23.    Plus sized clothing.  Ewwwww.

24.    Any shoes with more than 2 inch heels are too tall and hurt my feet

25.    Not going on rides or zip lining because I won't fit or weigh too much for the ride.

26.    $80 bras are the norm.

27.    My fingers are too fat for rings.

28.    Restaurant booths are a snug fit.

29.    My lap is almost too small for my son to sit on.

30.    Lingerie.  Yeah, not gonna happen.

31.    Neuropathy in my legs and feet.

32.    Being too embarrassed to dance.

...And the list goes on.  Be sure to come back.  I'm sure I'll add more as I consider this further.