The Miracle of the Broccoli

An amazing thing just happened today.  Today for lunch I had a stare down with the broccoli that filled half the plate of my Lean Cuisine microwave dinner.  I am NOT a fan of broccoli.

Let's be serious:  I'm not a fan of very many vegetables at all, but broccoli is decently high on the list of disgusting vegetables.  I spent my youth choking on them on the rare occasion they were served on my dinner plate, and many-a-battles of wills occurred between my mother and I.  I'm proud to say my gag reflex and I were typically able to either out-stubborn or out-wit my mother.  Now that I'm a mother, of course, I understand that she just didn't have the unending time that a 5-year-old has to boycott vegetables.

Today I stared those broccoli down just as enthusiastically as I would have 30 years ago.  I understand a little better now, though, that tough things need to happen.  And I can do tough things. Like eat broccoli.  So into the broccoli I plunged.

A funny thing happened as I was fending off my beagles from their aggressive begging.  I forgot that I was eating broccoli, and discovered that I was actually enjoying the food.  Between my smacking of lips and shoving away of the dogs, I was suddenly brought back to the realization of what I was ingesting.  Shock and horror filled me, and I shoveled the remainder of the broccoli into my mouth before it could realize what going on.

Based on the above story, only two conclusions can be reached.  I don't know which is the more accurate:

1. If you get hungry enough, anything can taste good; or
2. You have the ability to rewire your taste buds, and what was once gross can become tasty.

I'm not sure which is the case with me.  I have been working on eating more vegetables lately, and broccoli is much more frequently in my diet.  But I sure was hungry.

What do you think?

Grace 

P.S.  Probably not apropos, but just as an aside, the broccoli was covered in cheese sauce and sprinkled with bacon.  But I'm sure that's neither here nor there.

Man, that was a quick diet.

Alright, here's the update:

6/7:  10 points
6/8:  6 points
6/9:  5 points

Well that attempt lasted a good 3 days.  I'm not gonna lie:  that's longer than usual.  And guess what, it only took me 11 days for me to hop back on.  That is MUCH better than normal.

Warning:  If you are here only for lighthearted posts full of laughter and fun, skip the next section.

---------BEWARE!!-----------BEWARE!!--------BEWARE!!! ------------ BEWARE!!! --------------

I usually get into a spiral of shame and disgust at myself that I can't even control myself for more than a couple of days - if that.  We're lucky if my stamina for healthy eating lasts more than a meal.  "Why even try?" I ask myself.  "You're just going to fail.  You hate vegetables, and that'll never change.  You love chocolate, and that will NEVER change.  Are you really ready to live a life without joy and sugar satisfaction?  They are such a part of your life and have been since infancy, there's no way you can adjust your taste buds."  And on and on and on and on.  A wise man once said that one of Satan's favorite phrases is that it's not worth it to try to be better again.  You've screwed up too many times, and repentance isn't possible anymore.  And really, isn't that what I'm doing?  I'm repenting of the abuse I've given my body all these years by overeating and eating poorly.

--------IT'S SAFE NOW ---------- IT'S SAFE NOW -------------- IT'S SAFE NOW----------------

So I'm back in the saddle again!  Except that I'm afraid of horses.  Huh - that's probably a pretty apt analogy, then.  I'm gonna get bucked again, I KNOW IT.  But I'll dust the dirt off my fat-girl exercise pants and hop back on again.  So here we go:

6/20:  11 points!

10 points for this Hufflepuff!

Hysterectomy.  We laugh and joke about it when we're on our periods.  Hysterectomy.  Just cut it out and get rid of it all!  I'll be happy never going through this again! Hysterectomy.  I'm 36 and am looking forward to my youngest being out of school in 8 years.  Hysterectomy.  I'm not using it, so why keep it?  Hysterectomy.  That's my option, or deal with what has now been a 9-month heavy period.

When faced with that reality, I look back and ask myself when was the last time I was really regular, and it was when I was training for a sprint triathlon.  I was taking care of my body.  In the two years since the triathlon, I've gone jogging a handful of times, biking once, and swimming never.  The motivation of finishing it was gone, and I was quickly able to convince myself I had better things to do.

Well, I have a new motivation:  keep my uterus.

But I'm going to work on a more whole-person approach.  I tend to focus on one thing really hard and everything else goes out the window.  I don't have time for 2 hours of jogging and biking and swimming a night, but I can work on doing a bunch of little, easy things that improve many facets of my life.

I'm the chubby one in the picture - but I still finished
a sprint traithlon!

So I've made a list of things I really need to work on doing better.  They are a whole bunch of little things that I really should be doing every day, but I don't.  Anyone who knows me knows I'm a points oriented person, so I'm giving myself points for each item I do.  Right now I have a possibility of 12 points a day.  I really don't anticipate myself getting those 12 points each day.  That is nearly impossible with my crazy schedule, but I should be pretty decent.  So here's my list:

• pray/meditate
• personal scripture Study
• exercise
• brush teeth
• eat veggies/fruit
• no fast food/restaurants
• journal my food intake
• read to kids
• 7 hours of sleep
• take my meds
• wash face
• Drink .5 ounces of water per pound I weight (wow, that's a lot to drink right now!)

There are sooo many more I could add to this list.  I could be more strict, and/or more specific. But these are the simple things I can do each day to improve my whole self that gives me that "Check!" feeling of success.  Some days I'll get two points, but today I got 10 points!  Yea!  I envision the list morphing and growing as I get better or find more things I need to improve on.  But I'm a 10 points ahead today!

- Cathy

Back in the Saddle Again. Why I Keep Coming Back for More

Yes, it's been a while since I posted. Yes, I'm at it again. Yes, I'm tired of trying and failing. But I'm going to try AGAIN. Why? Well let me tell you a little story.

My mother and I at my high school graduation

I am the seventh of ten children. My mom stayed at home because, well, what else are you going to do with ten kids? She did the very best she could considering the circumstances.  And over forty years of child-rearing, she gained weight.  A lot of it.

She tried a bajillion different diets. I remember her going to TOPs (Take off Pounds Sensibly) and Overeaters Anonymous.  I remember seeing hypnosis audio tapes, Weight Watchers material, and a myriad of other attempts at losing weight.

I distinctly remember a point in sixth grade when I began to be embarrassed by what my mom looked like.  Yes, it's selfish, and horrible.  She was my mother. And I was twelve. Twelve-year-olds are selfish and horrible. During that time, I often recall asking myself, "Why doesn't she just...lose it? Eat less, work out more. It's not that hard."

Yeah. Said the 12 year old girl who was 98 lbs soaking wet and never had a problem with her weight until she had children of her own. Then I gained 60 lbs with my first child, and it all went downhill from there.

Soon, I found myself doing the same things my mother did...and failing. More often than not, I'd look in the mirror and see my mother. I would often wonder if my children were embarrassed of me like I was of Mom.  Except now I'm on the receiving end of the weight-loss discussion.

Me:2015

Why can't I just eat less and move more?  Well, to fully understand, a normal person would have to put another full-grown adult on their back and carry that person around during an entire workout. Then they'd understand how easily a person gets winded climbing stairs, or their back hurts after 15 minutes on the treadmill, or how something as simple as getting up from the floor becomes a chore.

Second, it ultimately comes down to time for me. I don't have any of it. I get 5 hours of sleep at night, if that.  It is difficult for me to give up even 30 minutes of that time to exercise.

Yet, here I am, trying again. Why?

Because I had a mother whom I loved dearly. She fought the good fight for decades and never managed to win. I think at some point, she just gave up, and her weight defeated her.

So each time I hit the treadmill, or drag myself out of bed, nearly in tears because I'm so stinking tired, I remember my mother. And I promise myself that I will not let my weight define me. I will not let my weight overpower me. And I will not be that mom that my children are ashamed of.  I will be the person I want to be. I will do the things I want to do.  I will not let my weight dictated what I can and cannot do.  And I will not let obesity defeat us both.

Therefore, I will try and try and try and try and TRY until I succeed.  Even if that means I have 9,999 more tries to go. I will not quit.

Current weight and Stats on today's workout.  Holding myself accountable and hoping to see progress. I will not quit.

Fitting in Time for Me...And My Husband.

I think I've piled a little bit too much on my plate again (sigh).  I go through cycles.  I put too many irons in the fire, work really hard until I basically have a break down, then step back and try to figure out which things can be taken off the plate.

It's a sickness, I know.

For the last several months, I've been up from 5:00 am till midnight every day of the week.  I have 1 day between now and the end of March, and 2 days in April, that I don't have at least one thing scheduled - above and beyond the recurring appointments already etched into my brain.

And yet, I'm trying to do more. Be more.

Well, actually, I'm trying to be LESS. As in lose weight.

I've spent a couple of months working out 2-3 times per week with my trainer, and I'm beginning to see differences in increased strength and how my clothes fit better.  But the scale isn't moving the way I'd like.

I'm not willing to give up the strength training, because I need the extra strength to handle my son with special needs.  So, with only 5 hours of sleep per night, and having the current commitment of 90 minutes with Ryan (the trainer) three times per week, I struggled with how to add more cardio without taking away from my family.

Decades ago, in high school, I used to play volleyball.  I haven't played since before my youngest was born, nearly 7 years ago.  But my husband is 6'6" and he LOVES volleyball.  Go figure.

I found out about a co-ed volleyball night through our church twice per month, and I asked him about it.  I suggested we could use it as our date night on those weeks.  The nice thing about volleyball is A) it's free.  B) It's not centered around food, which is how our date nights usually go.

Tonight was our first night.

I showed up in knee-length spandex Capris, a pair of tennis shoes, and a t-shirt over a tank top and two bras - one is like a suit of friggin' armor to keep the 'girls' from giving me a black-eye, and the other was to smooth out the bumps because my cups runneth over, if you know what I mean.  The suit of armor was $80 when I bought it. By golly I'm gonna use it till it shreds into nothingness, or the straps break.

I was a hot mess by the end of the first rotation, gasping for breath after the second, and sweating like a pig by the end of the 11-point game. Still, I persisted.

I only needed help getting up off the floor once - I certainly felt like a beached whale - but everyone was a good sport, and we were all there for fun.

My husband and I lasted 2 1/2 hours before we came home.  He swears his hip went out during a play. We both limped up the stairs, then guzzled inordinate amounts of Ibuprofen. Okay, I only had two but that's beside the point. I WISH I could've had like seven.  I am soooo going to feel this one in the morning!

But you know what? We had fun. And we'll be back at it again in two week.  I wonder if I can find more family activities this spring that will get out out of our comfort zone and off the couch. Hmm. I'll add that to my to-do list.

Until next time...

10 Things I'm doing to ensure PERMANENT Weight Loss

1.  Working out EVERY DAY at least 20 minutes.
2.  Replacing soda with water & non-carbonated drinks like crystal light.  No juices.
3.  Eating more veggies
4.  Eating out less
5.  Learning to be more Mindful
6.  Learning how my thoughts affect my behaviors
7.  Making small, realistic goals
8.  Emphasizing the little changes.
9.  Taking care of myself NOW, not when I reach goal weight.
10. Drink more water!! Okay, this sounds a lot like #2, except, it's not. I don't usually drink much, and when I do, it's carbonated.  Now, I'm choosing to drink nearly a gallon of liquid. And that liquid will be water.

Update: 02/07/17 Working With a Trainer

Did you miss me?  I wish I could say the same.  I've been running around with my hair on fire...again.

Since my last post in November, my daughter got married, we had Christmas and New Years, I was working 50-hour work weeks, and then, I got sick.  For 3 weeks.  Sigh.

I'm so done with 2017. And it's only February!!

Luckily, out of sight didn't necessarily mean off the wagon.  I started working with a trainer on January 10th. And he's uh-maz-ing. 

Remember how, in older posts, I talked about the beginning phase of getting into shape would be absolute torture? Apparently I was wrong. No, seriously.  I was wrong.

I have met with Ryan of Phoenix Strength Systems 11 or 12 times now. Not consistently though.  I had a 3 week gap when I was sick, and then another week when I had the period from HELL.  And not a single one of our visits involved me being in any sort of pain.  Or relatively tired/winded.  The next couple of days? Well, that's another story.  But it was all good pain.  Muscles were changing, growing, and building.

In spite of the gaps between visits, I still managed to lose some inches.

New measurements:

Weight: 299.6 lbs (+.8 lbs)
Neck:  16" (- 1/4")
Bust:  49" (-1 1/4")
Upper Abs:  46 1/2" (-6 1/2")!!!
Lower Abs:  54" (same)
Hips: 55 1/2" (-1")
Thigh: 28" (same)
Bicep: 15 1/2" (- 1/2")
Calf: 17" (same)

My weight is essentially the same, but my inches are going down. Pretty cool, eh. Muscle takes up less space than fat, so the measurements tell me that I'm building some serious muscle. 

I even had someone tell me I looked skinner, and all my clothes are hanging differently (in a good way).  People don't normally notice changes in my body for at least 20-30 lbs.  And yet, they're noticing. :)

I enjoy working out this time around, which makes the discomfort of sore muscles the next day totally worth it!